What does the word “Conquer” mean to you?

For each one of us it could mean a totally different thing or represent a completely different experience.

The word “Conquer” means to overcome, to gain, or to obtain by effort.

With this in mind, I want to ask you the question; what’s stopping you from conquering your current goals?

• this day
• this week
• maybe even this year

My last post talked about “Challenging” yourself a little each day.”

Did you try it?

How’d it go for you?

Did it trigger you into having any internal conversation with yourself that became resourceful?  Or did you find yourself sitting on the couch and thinking about it but not doing much about it?

I know.  I’ve found myself doing that sometimes.  Circumstances come along to distract us from our goals. I don’t know about you but that’s when I need a partner to come along side me and say!  “Hey I thought you were going to do this or that?”  What happened?”

Whether it’s weight loss, exercise or going through that pile of papers you’ve been meaning to go through but haven’t for whatever reason.

“Just Do It” like Nike says!!

Let me ask you, what was it like the first time you conquered your fear of riding a bike as a kid or learning to swim for the very first time?

(Stop a moment and go back and relive that experience.)

I hope your answer was a resounding YES!!!!!  I knew I could do this!  There is a real freedom that comes over you. I remember when I was learning to swim as a kid it felt like I could go on forever.  Remember spending hours underwater talking to your sister or brother? Doing silly stuff?  It was just so freeing.

Then I joined a swim team that was a blast!

(What does a kid in the middle of the desert do but find a pool and stay in it for as long as they can to beat the heat!  Really!)

Swimming took conquering something to a whole new level for me.  First it’s the form of the stroke, getting that down.  Then conquering the ability to get to a place where the body gets its second wind. Then you can swim effortlessly for what seems like forever.

Now the fact is that this takes some time.  It doesn’t just happen after a few laps back and forth in the pool.  YOU have to consistently push yourself through every lap and then Bam!!! BREAKTHROUGH HAPPENS and you have done it.  It’s an exhilarating feeling.  Makes me just want to jump in a pool right now!!

Think how this could work in your life.

What will it take to conquer the goals that you have?

• Do you write your goals down?
• Do you post them where you can see them daily?
• What will it take to move past the fear to go to the next level?
• What kind of commitment will it take for you?
• And lastly “How badly do you want it?!”

That’s really the question isn’t it?  How badly do I want something in my life so that I will do whatever it takes to do it?

Now let’s go back to the when you were a kid conversation.

Do you think that some of the same feelings that came over you as a child are still working in you today?

I happen to think so.  That is one of the things that is what I call your internal conversation or your historical conversation.  I’ve mentioned that before many times.  Some of those old tapes are still running around in your brain even today.

What you “GET TO” do is just notice them and discover how you can work through those haunting memories.  Yes, I said haunting and you have to decide if this is the conversation you want to be having with yourself right now or are you willing to have a different one?

I’m going to leave you with that question and you let me know what you think about what I wrote.  If it has opened up a new area in your life that you hadn’t seen before and how it affects your ability to Conquer YOUR Goals.

Love to hear about that.

Aloha for now,

Coach Kathleen

PS What you “Get to” do is think about “get to” vs have to, need to or want to.  Now that’s a whole another post.  Be watching for it. Coming to this blog soon!

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I was going to write a piece on values to go with my last blog post. I have to tell you, though, that I had an interesting experience this morning when it comes to priorities and values.

I’d like to share with you what I saw that made me re-consider what I wanted to share — what we value in general, even in the moment. I’m was at the gym riding the bike when I look up and on the screen I see this young girl swimming upstream in what at first glance I thought was a muddy river. But, in fact, it was somewhere in Oklahoma where there was flooding taking place. As I watched her swimming, a helicopter was hovering over her from the news station breaking the story. I noticed that she was a strong swimmer and was clear about where she wanted to go, which was the next tree top. (This was how high the water was). As she inched her way along from tree to tree I began praying; please God send someone soon. At that point she had to be exhausted. She swam to a strong tree onto which she was tightly holding. She calmly waved to the helicopter. I was amazed at her strength and what seemed to be a peace in the face of what she was enduring.

Long story short, the rescuers eventually came. It was quite a sight to behold these big old firemen when they got her in the boat and onto dry land. As she stepped out and started walking unassisted by herself to the waiting helicopter, I was thinking to myself “What is this poor girl thinking right now?” Was she in shock or just on autopilot?

Why am I sharing this? I’m sharing it because I feel this is a story against all odds–a miracle. There was no way I could see or know what was important to this girl at that very moment. I’m sure she wasn’t thinking “Gee what is most important to me right now?” No, she was just acting on her instinct to survive. Just doing whatever it would take to get to the next tree. The current was increasing and I found myself saying to her, “Just stay there. Someone has got to be coming. Hold on, don’t do anything stupid.”

It was a real life drama being played out right in front of me while I was in the gym riding a silly bike trying to burn a few calories. How crazy is that? Even so, I was in it with her. And I had to think other people like myself who were watching along with me were stopping and praying. What if I was there just for that? Then that was my mission for that moment.

What we value most usually shows up in the midst of crisis. We either go into fight or flight mode. That’s just how we are designed when there is something that threatens us. We react in the moment. This is what is really important when it comes down to the end of the day.

I know we say we value certain things or even take things for granted but when we are put into a crisis situation our priorities sometimes become crystal clear pretty quick. No time to think, just do. But it’s what we do after the fact that will truly affect the way we move forward in life.

What are your goals or priorities at this very moment? Are they based on your circumstances or are you focused enough to continue to be clear on the next step you need to take to move forward in your goals or vision for your life?

Much like that young woman in the water today, we need to be clear about what it takes to get to the next tree. Just getting to the next tree is sometimes all we can handle. But it’s enough.

What about you this week?

Are you able to focus on the next step for you? Or do you get a little distracted sometimes, like me? That’s when you could use a partner to come along side and interrupt your thinking in the moment and say to you…..

FOCUS, FOCUS, FOCUS. Until you say, “Okay, Okay I’m clear now!!”

I hope this story has inspired you to look differently today at whatever you are facing. • Be clear, • Focus • Make a plan and stick to it Follow through one step at a time until it becomes one of your stronger points of who you are and your character. Let me know how it goes this week.

Aloha for Now,

Coach Kathleen

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It’s not what I expected; it’s not what I wanted;, what I signed up for. This isn’t fair, life is throwing me a curve ball and I’m not liking it one bit!! What the Heck!?

Okay, now that you got that off your chest, now what?

My desire is to offer you solutions, suggestions and possibilities that can help you to answer some of these questions or frustrations.

But for now let’s talk about a story I heard recently.  There was once a young man desiring to get married.  He was getting older and he really wanted to marry badly.  (Belief system kicking in here.) Then he meets this beautiful young woman and they fall in love in a very short time.  They also become pregnant and decide to get married.  Never mind that they were from 2 different cultures and could not understand each other at all; not being able to speak each other’s languages.  They were in love and that was that.

Long story short, the relationship ended in less than a year. He has the baby.  He is in debt up to his eyeballs.  His business is failing.  He moved in with relatives for the time being and basically it’s a mess.  (You get the picture)

Now he has some hard choices to make here.  Not an easy road to hoe any way you look at it.  BUT it is what it is…. Now, what?!   I might say, “Man up and deal with it cause it ain’t going away and now you are faced with having another life you are responsible for.”  (I sound like Dr. Laura here.  For those of you that don’t know her.  She is a straight shooting therapist and author who doesn’t pull any punches who has a very popular radio talk show, where people call in and ask for help and advice to their problems.  I really like her.)

Reality may be hard sometimes but we all have to deal with it.  Can anyone relate here?

Does this story sound familiar?  Unfortunately, it’s being played out all over the place.  There is hope in the mist for sure.  Let’s take this man’s story, for instance.  What will he need to do?  The “What Now?” conversation…

Get some support, have a plan of action and know where and how to move forward.  In other words, he needs to ask, seek and knock for the help he needs.  I know that not everyone has the luxury, but maybe we really do and we just don’t see it because we are so caught up in the event, the mess and the overall helpless feeling of hopelessness.

But I know there are ton’s of solutions out there…

In the movie  “The Pursuit of Happiness” Will Smith portrays Chris Gardner, a man who suddenly has a run of very bad luck and has to totally rethink everything about his life.  What happens to him can happen to any one of us these days.  But what he did with what happened to him made all the difference in the world for him and his son.  What happens in this clip from the movie is at first his conversation with his son comes from his “familiar” old conversation, his paradigm. But look what happens when he sees the impact it has on his son.

It takes courage and determination to fight against the familiar,  the old belief system that creeps back into our internal conversations.

Take courage …. Really, I mean it.   Seriously!  Read about someone who faced the impossible and overcame all odds.  Rent an inspiring movie that will do the same thing for you.  Create hope where there is none at the moment.  I could think of so many examples right now.

No matter what it is that you are up against if you look for something outside yourself to be encouraged or inspired by it can and does shift our thinking, our belief systems, our situations and/or our circumstances differently.  In doing so we can move towards a place of taking action, which is much better than just sitting there waiting for something to happen to us.

I mentioned this earlier in my last blog.  Be sure to check out my previous blog post.  I really love hearing your feedback on what I’ve been writing about lately.

Is this speaking to you, hitting home, or encouraging?  These are some of the ways I use my coaching skills when working with clients.  We can all speak from our experience of life to support someone on their journey.

Hope this was helpful today.  Don’t forget to let me know what you think.

Much Aloha,

Kathleen

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