Okay this is how I see it:
When we meet each other for the first time, what we are bringing with us is our history and or cultural history as well. So think about it, YOU are YOUR history
how you were raised has a lot to do with the way you see things. You may have come from another country and now live somewhere else. YOU bring with you, your cultural history as well as the way your parents raised you, your value system.are ALWAYS, (I can’t empathize that enough!) always filtering everything that comes to us through these filters.

Did you come from a traditional background, or more maybe you were raised to be more of a free spirit?

In this day and age and in the US culture, conservative or liberal are big denominators for some folks.
All this contributes to who you are today, and how you see your world and the world.

I like to call these filters, historical and cultural filters. And we

Your filters help you to define what an experience is, and your filters cause you to experience what you think and feel at any given moment.

So what has this got to do with RELATIONSHIPS?!

Everything of course!! If we were to stop and think about that every time we met someone, just how I may be interpreting our conversation, based on how I am filtering that conversation through my histoy, I might listen a little differently, or at least I would hope I would.

This is huge when it comes to man/woman conversation. Oh don’t get me started…. Actually I find it very interesting and how differently my husband and I see things.

Can you see how that our history might play into how well we communicate? Let alone understand or try to understand the other person.

Hopefully this should give you some food for thought for a moment.

If it sparks some questions, please feel free to drop me a line and tell me what you think about what I’ve shared here.

AND if this is something that you would like to spend some time talking about, how it would be helpful to learn more about how to better your communication, let me know.

Till next time…
Aloha,
Coach Kathleen

Author, Kathleen Reece, (CPBA, CPVA) is known as the “Relationship Coach” by couples around the world. Founder of Relationship Coach for You™ where she helps couples in groups, teleclasses and private sessions. As a professionally certified behavior analyst, she gives couples the communication tools and proven strategies they need to create close and intimate relationships.

The © Copyright to all audio, video, images, and text is held by Relationship Coach for You™ and licensed under a Creative Commons License.

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As we begin this new year, I thought Communication would be a good place to spend some time looking at how often our conversations may end up not being what we thought they would be. This will all start make sense, read on;

First off let me say that I love people! But not that I just love people, I find that we are all so amazingly fascinating!!
Every one of us is unique in every way; no two people are the alike.
I’m married to an identical twin. Yes it’s been fun and yes I have many stories, but what is so interesting is that even though they are identical as twins can be, yet they are very different in every way! Uniquely!!

I love to watch people. I’m so curious about their stories, what makes them who they are. That is part of what got me into the field of coaching and specifically communication and relationship coaching. Because people are sooo fascinating!!

I’d like to talk about what makes communication so interesting and maybe you can apply some of what you are reading here to the important relationships in your life.

First let me offer you a few questions to consider;

• Do you want to be a better communicator or to have more meaningful conversations? Or get a chance to see how well you do or do not communicate?

• How about wanting to be a better listener and in turn may be listened to as well.

• Would it be valuable for you to know how good of a listener you really are?

• Is what you are communicating actually being heard the way you are communicating it. Or are you surprised when the other person gets upset or is really unclear on what you just said? And you thought you were so clear!

All these questions have some very simple solutions and as we go along in this series we will be looking at each of these and getting a chance to gain some clarity and tools along the way.

I’ll leave you with this to think about until next time. It should really get you thinking about how this may be so in your life.

Have you ever considered what happens when we meet each other for the first time? How that when we do meet someone for the first time we bringing along with us our history and our cultural history as well, into every conversation we have, into every thought that crosses our mind.

Now that should intrigue you for a moment. I’d like you to sit in that question for a little while and think how that might actually be so, and that you may never ever have thought about how that might color how you see things. It’s a fascinating thing to think about, don’t you think?

Over the next few weeks we will be talking about how your history influences your conversations and how it may at times get in the way of how well you are communicating or listening to someone.

Wouldn’t it be helpful to see how that may actually be effecting how you see things and others see you?

If what I have offered you today has sparked some curiosity, then I would love to hear what you have to say about it. Please feel free to drop me a line and let me know if this was helpful.
Your Relationship Coach
Kathleen

Author, Kathleen Reece, (CPBA, CPVA) known as the “Relationship Coach” by couples around the world. As a professionally certified behavior analyst, she gives couples the communication tools and proven strategies they need to create close and intimate relationships.

The © Copyright to all audio, video, images, and text is held by Relationship Coach for You™ and licensed under a Creative Commons License.

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I think we don’t know what our expectations are. And oftentimes we only become aware of them when they are not met.

I guess in certain parts of the country, there is an expectation that there will be snow on Christmas morning. That doesn’t happen for me though, because I live in Hawaii. It’s nice enough if there’s a chill in the air for us here. But oftentimes people have expectations that there should be snow Christmas morning! Isn’t that what happens in the movies!? We’re hopeful it will happen. Just like somehow, some way Christmas will be different this year.

So how can it be different this year? Well how about being willing to live out the intention we set out with as the season first approached? Now that’s a novel idea!

Also, what do you think it would take to live out our lives all year long purposed to, live life fully human fully alive? (Curious to what I mean here?! Well I’ll explain as we go along here.) So let’s make that part of our journey for next year.

My purpose and intention this next year is to create value in what I write here, so that when you leave this page you’ll want to come back for more!

• That you can walk away with some actual tools that you can implement into your life right here and now.

• That your relationships will be rewarding, much more fulfilling and full of opportunities for intimacy.

• You in turn can create that with others.

How’s that sound?!

I’m looking forward to this coming year being one of anticipation and excitement, of change and growth. Will you come along on this journey with me?

Have a blessed and peaceful next few days, as we end out this year, and don’t forget to realize the gift that YOU are to those around you as well. Because without you in this world, the very special and unique you that you are, life would not be the same. There would be something missing. A BIG something! Like George in the movie classic “It’s a Wonderful Life”. Just a thought to ponder…

If you have any thoughts or feelings that you would like to share with me, I’d love to hear from you. And if for some reason this is a particularly hard time of year, let’s talk. Sometimes we just need someone to listen or relate to what is going on for us.

Author, Kathleen Reece, (CPBA, CPVA) is known as the “Relationship Coach” by couples around the world. Founder of Relationship Coach for You™ where she helps couples in groups, teleclasses and private sessions. As a professionally certified behavior analyst, she gives couples the communication tools and proven strategies they need to create close and intimate relationships.

The © Copyright to all audio, video, images, and text is held by Relationship Coach for You™ and licensed under a Creative Commons License.

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So you want a Currier and Ives Christmas but what you might end up with is “As the World Turns.” I saw that in a book years ago and thought it was a hoot when I read it, and then I also thought how true, how true! As time has gone on and I’m much older and wiser these days, I notice how the expectation of the holidays and the actual reality tend to differ quite a bit.

We fondly look back on the times of our childhood when life was not so complicated and there was a sense of wonder and excitement, and think when did that all change. I don’t know if you are like me, but the past and the present don’t always match up. I could write a book on my childhood experiences, but I don’t want to do that here. What I do want to do, is touch on several things, that I think might come up for people during the holidays.

I know when I was a young mom I was always racing around trying to get things done and put a great deal of self made expectations on myself to have “everything perfect.” (Or so I thought that was what I was supposed to do.)
Like I said I’ve grown older and wiser you see…

What I would like to offer here is what I think Christmas isn’t. How we could tend to make it be the cure-all for the world so to speak. The problem is that it isn’t. It doesn’t bring us instant happiness and often time’s disappointment is what we get
.
Please don’t get me wrong I LOVE Christmas and all that it stands for. It’s one of my favorite times of the year. I think that what springs eternal is that we are hopeful that when Christmas comes and the cards that arrive in the mail that say Peace on Earth, we long for that to be so. Especially in this day and age when world is in such turmoil.

So we start the day after Thanksgiving (I’ve always made it my rule that I don’t go out there into those crowds, even though many of you may love doing that.) getting into the “Christmas Spirit”! There’s the buying and the wrapping, the cooking and the cleaning. Everything that goes on about Christmas is all about getting ready for that day.

Some of the things that Christmas doesn’t do is it doesn’t magically turn you into the world’s greatest parent, fulfilling your children’s every wish. Nor does it make you the Martha Stewart of the holidays, because you watch her program or read her books.

Largely and more importantly it doesn’t instantly restore and repair broken relationships or those that are on the brink of serious problems. But I also think as human beings we are just naturally hopeful for something different. We were designed that way, thank God!

We are hoping that when the family all gets together, it will be great! We look forward to it. It’ll be different this year, I’m gonna make sure of it. So we go about it with great intention, of making that happen. But alas, others aren’t always as cooperative. So there go our expectations and hopes of something different, deeper, and more meaningful.

I myself am a great believer that we have everything within us to create a different experience than the one we have had up until now. If we are to believe in what the “Christmas Miracle” is all about, the miracle of hope for the future, the future worth having with those we love and cherish. Then it would benefit us to equip ourselves with the tools for what that will take. Say better communications, for one thing, or better listening skills. It’s all a matter of taking the time, and changing our thinking about who needs to do the changing, or just appreciating the people for the gift that they are in our lives.

Share with me some of your thoughts on how you see the possibility of changing the way you could see the value of having a different way of relating with those around you this season, and how that might change and enrich how you experience your holiday’s!

Your Relationship Coach,
Kathleen Reece

Author, Kathleen Reece, (CPBA, CPVA) is known as the “Relationship Coach” by couples around the world. Founder of Relationship Coach for You™ where she helps couples in groups, teleclasses and private sessions. As a professionally certified behavior analyst, she gives couples the communication tools and proven strategies they need to create close and intimate relationships.

The © Copyright to all audio, video, images, and text is held by Relationship Coach for You™ and licensed under a Creative Commons License.

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Aloha,

If you’ve been growing <em>tired or frustrated with the way your current relationship</em> is going – you’ve come to the right place!

And to make this blog relevant to your needs, please post your questions, problems and challenges in the comment section – <em>about your relationship</em> – so that I can <strong>answer your most pressing relationship questions.</strong>

My goal is to give you hope; knowing that there is a bright, happy future in store for you and your relationship.

This NEW blog:  Healthy Relationship Secrets Revealed! will reveal those secrets your parents never told you about – and your friends don’t even know about.

If you want to avoid being another statistic in the ever-increasing divorce roll – and you want to enjoy more happiness and fulfillment in your marriage – this blog will help you make new discoveries so you can have an incredible marriage, relationship and friendship – with the mate of your dreams!

Join me, as I share Healthy Relationship Secrets – ones I’ve learned by trial and error and shared with my clients along the way.

Your Relationship Coach,
Kathleen Reece (CPVA, CPBA)

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