If You Can See It, Then Maybe It’s yours to Change! YOU Think?!~
May 13th, 2010
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by admin · Filed Under: Goal Setting
If you can see it, then maybe it’s yours to change. Okay, I know you probably don’t like hearing that, but it’s true. Someone always has to take the first step, so it might as well be you!
I can remember way back to the first time I ever heard someone tell me that. Boy, it really made me mad! Why should I be the first to change? Why can’t it be he or she who does the changing first?! After all I’m the one that is hurt, disappointed, frustrated etc….
But here’s the deal.
It’s is what it is… (You’ll hear me say that often in my blog posts for a reason.)
If you want something different and you see it first, well then I guess it’s yours to change, right!?
What if it’s someone in the workplace and you are frustrated that they aren’t pulling their load? Think about it. Maybe it’s really just as easy as changing your attitude towards that person. What if you could see them in a different light? I’ll bet you’d have a whole new perspective.
Think about what may be driving your resentment or judgments of this person and just how those limiting beliefs and attitudes short change you. YOU, not the person you have them about. Fact is, that they probably are completely oblivious of your feelings completely!
Ever realize how much energy it takes to pick up and carry an attitude? Think about it; physically, it can be quite literally exhausting.
So what do you do about it? How do you make the change and shift out of the limiting conversation that you are having about this individual right now?
Well, it could be as easy as looking at what is driving this particular conversation you are having. “Ah”, you say, “what conversation?” And I say, “That one, the one you are having right now about what I am talking about!” See, can you hear it yourself?
It seems silly but we are constantly having these internal conversations. Some of us even talk out loud to ourselves and think nothing of it. Mutter, mutter, mutter, but in all that muttering is a conversation that you are having either about yourself or someone else.
Here’s a good one for this week. Start to notice when you are having that internal conversation and what is coming up for you as you do. What are the feelings, emotions or attitudes that accompany this internal conversation and how could you shift away from any negative reactions or attitudes to have a more resourceful response to what is happening?
When I work with someone on these issues, we actually go step by step to dissect the conversation so you can see what is really going on. It always helps to have someone else look at things from the outside and give you some feedback on what they are hearing. Of course, you then have to be open as to whether or not you are able to see things more clearly and are willing to make the change.
I guess that brings us right back where we started when I began this post! Lol! Seriously though, these are just things to consider.
Ponder on this a while and let me know what you think. Could this help you in a relationship you are having with a co-worker, a spouse, a relative or child or teen, anyone that crosses your path?
My commitment is to give you the tools to go out there in your daily encounters and have more satisfying and rewarding conversations and connections with others.
After all, isn’t that part of what life is about?
Aloha for now,
Coach Kathleen
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