So you want a Currier and Ives Christmas but what you might end up with is “As the World Turns.” I saw that in a book years ago and thought it was a hoot when I read it, and then I also thought how true, how true! As time has gone on and I’m much older and wiser these days, I notice how the expectation of the holidays and the actual reality tend to differ quite a bit.

We fondly look back on the times of our childhood when life was not so complicated and there was a sense of wonder and excitement, and think when did that all change. I don’t know if you are like me, but the past and the present don’t always match up. I could write a book on my childhood experiences, but I don’t want to do that here. What I do want to do, is touch on several things, that I think might come up for people during the holidays.

I know when I was a young mom I was always racing around trying to get things done and put a great deal of self made expectations on myself to have “everything perfect.” (Or so I thought that was what I was supposed to do.)
Like I said I’ve grown older and wiser you see…

What I would like to offer here is what I think Christmas isn’t. How we could tend to make it be the cure-all for the world so to speak. The problem is that it isn’t. It doesn’t bring us instant happiness and often time’s disappointment is what we get
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Please don’t get me wrong I LOVE Christmas and all that it stands for. It’s one of my favorite times of the year. I think that what springs eternal is that we are hopeful that when Christmas comes and the cards that arrive in the mail that say Peace on Earth, we long for that to be so. Especially in this day and age when world is in such turmoil.

So we start the day after Thanksgiving (I’ve always made it my rule that I don’t go out there into those crowds, even though many of you may love doing that.) getting into the “Christmas Spirit”! There’s the buying and the wrapping, the cooking and the cleaning. Everything that goes on about Christmas is all about getting ready for that day.

Some of the things that Christmas doesn’t do is it doesn’t magically turn you into the world’s greatest parent, fulfilling your children’s every wish. Nor does it make you the Martha Stewart of the holidays, because you watch her program or read her books.

Largely and more importantly it doesn’t instantly restore and repair broken relationships or those that are on the brink of serious problems. But I also think as human beings we are just naturally hopeful for something different. We were designed that way, thank God!

We are hoping that when the family all gets together, it will be great! We look forward to it. It’ll be different this year, I’m gonna make sure of it. So we go about it with great intention, of making that happen. But alas, others aren’t always as cooperative. So there go our expectations and hopes of something different, deeper, and more meaningful.

I myself am a great believer that we have everything within us to create a different experience than the one we have had up until now. If we are to believe in what the “Christmas Miracle” is all about, the miracle of hope for the future, the future worth having with those we love and cherish. Then it would benefit us to equip ourselves with the tools for what that will take. Say better communications, for one thing, or better listening skills. It’s all a matter of taking the time, and changing our thinking about who needs to do the changing, or just appreciating the people for the gift that they are in our lives.

Share with me some of your thoughts on how you see the possibility of changing the way you could see the value of having a different way of relating with those around you this season, and how that might change and enrich how you experience your holiday’s!

Your Relationship Coach,
Kathleen Reece

Author, Kathleen Reece, (CPBA, CPVA) is known as the “Relationship Coach” by couples around the world. Founder of Relationship Coach for You™ where she helps couples in groups, teleclasses and private sessions. As a professionally certified behavior analyst, she gives couples the communication tools and proven strategies they need to create close and intimate relationships.

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