Engagement is a time filled with all the excitement and planning for the wedding and if a couple is wanting to lay a strong foundation for their marriage, it is also important to see this as a time of preparation for that as well.  My goal is to help you do just that.   

Through my coaching and workbook  you will begin to get a better view of what it will take to have a successful marriage and begin to gain the knowledge and tools to equip you on your journey together in one accord. 

Sessions that we cover over the 7 weeks will be: 

Session One:  Introduction

This opens with an interview where we will discuss what we will be covering.   This can be be directed in any way that will serve you.  Weekly or biweekly meeting are available but I suggest meeting every other week to give you some time to go through your assignments and come prepared to ask questions. 

I assign you a personal questionnaire that includes both your personal history and your history with your partner.  If you are interested you can also complete a DISC or a PIAV (these are optional).  DISC is a behavioral profile and PIAV stands for, Personal Interests Attitudes and Values.  Both of these are helpful and it’s kind of fun to see the results.   

Additionally, it might help you later on in life to refer back to:

“in the middle of missed miscommunication”

as a valuable tool to understand your mate better.

Session Two:  Debrief and Discuss Family History

We’ll go over the questionnaire and discuss experiences and family history and also look into how family affects the way we view life.

Session Three:  Expectations

We will be evaluating your relationship and look at how expectations play a role in our relationships. 

Session Four:  Authentic Communication

We will learn about the decision making process, building oneness through authentic communication and learning communication skills and practices that enhance your relationship; such as how to resolve conflict and simple communication tips that stand the test of time. 

Session Five:  Roles and Responsibilities

We will learn about roles and responsibilities as we move beyond cultural stereotypes such as the traditional versus modern view and your view on how that plays into a marriage.  This will also cover your religious beliefs and expectations concerning children and how they’re to be raised.  This will include discussing the choice to have children or not. 

Session Six:   Money and Finance

We’ll cover how you both view money and the issues that arise around this subject in marriage.  One of the number one problem issues in marriages is usually over money and finance.

Session Seven:  Sex and Intimacy

We’ll cover sex and intimacy:   another big issue in marriage.  We’ll be discussing how to understand your spouses needs and expectations that surround these issues.

Most couples today will spend thousands of dollars on an elaborate wedding and forget that the most important thing in preparing for that wonderful day is you.  You are the most important thing.  Long after the wedding day and all that it took to get there, what remains will be you and your partner and your life together.  Investing in your future and the legacy that you will leave will be one of the most lasting wedding gifts that you can give each other.

One of the most important aspects in premarital coaching is the commitment to finish the seven weeks course.  I can’t emphasize enough how important this is.    It can be a really fun time.  A time of discovery, challenge, risk, openness, trust and intimacy all the things upon which a marriage is built. 

So there you have it!

My “Sneak Preview” of what’s in store for you if you are interested in checking out this program  so you could be  really grounded and have a well rounded view of what marriage is really all about.

So tell me what you think so far? Does this sound like something you’d like to invest in with your fiancé? I mean think about it! This is the biggest step you’ll ever take!!

Let me know your thoughts on this post below, I’d love to have your feedback.  And if you want more information you can contact me @ 808.282.9260

I do a complimentary coaching session so you can test drive my style and see if I’d be a good fit for you

Author, Kathleen Reece, (CPBA, CPVA) is known as the “Relationship Coach” by couples around the world. Founder of Relationship Coach for You™ where she helps couples in groups, teleclasses and private sessions. As a professionally certified behavior analyst, she gives couples the communication tools and proven strategies they need to create close and intimate relationships.

The © Copyright to all audio, video, images, and text is held by Relationship Coach for You™ and licensed under a Creative Commons License.

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June is a perfect time to bring up one of my biggest passions in life!

Since I am a Relationship and Communication Coach, it’s only logical that I place tremendous importance on being prepared before you enter into what I believe to be the most important journey you will ever take in your life.

I believe that today’s couples are ill prepared for what lies ahead in marriage. Often times, couples have even been living together and think they know one another, yet when it comes to tying the knot there is plenty they don’t know.

I think couples go into marriage with a ton of preconceived ideas, thinking that, “when we get married” any little or big concern (spoken or unspoken) will somehow magically take care of itself.

Well let me tell you, that is probably one of the first things I would want to talk to you about.

So let me ask you…What are your expectations about marriage?

I have a ton of questions actually that I would want to ask, and over the next few weeks I hope I will help you discover some of the ways that you could better prepare for the most important decision that you will ever make in your life.

To me marriage is a mystery. You bring two very different people together from two very different backgrounds and sometimes cultures and they commit to love, honor and cherish one another till death do us part.

But is that the way couples look at it today? One of the things that I see couples are missing today, is the willingness to do the hard work first, before they get married. Often times they choose to focus on the plans of the actual wedding day, spending tons of money, time and energy on making sure that every detail is perfect for that day. Forgetting that they are embarking on life’s most important journey together and they may be missing some very key understandings of what lies ahead.

Not that I’ve got all the answers here mind you, but I think I have some solid foundational tools that may really help support you in your commitment to this most important union.

So let’s start at the beginning….

Remember that old saying “LOVE IS BLIND”?!

Well, you may be aware of some negative characteristics in your partner, but you figure, “hey it won’t be like this after we’re married.”

Face it, we are idealistic,

We think, we’re different,

Our marriage will be perfect,

Right?!

Often times you are unaware of the potential problems, arguments and disagreements that so commonly occur in marriage.

So I’d like to help you create a strong foundation, to begin your new life together. My goal is to help you to replace your idealistic view of marriage with a more realistic and healthier view.

Having a more realistic view will help you to move forward together over life’s sometimes bumpy spots that will often happen in every journey. The road is not always smooth but the good news is “there IS joy in the journey!

Would you like to know more about how you can begin your journey together better prepared?

Was this interesting and possibly thought provoking? Did you gain some value or perk your interest?

I hope so. Let me know what you think about what I shared with you today. Looking forward to hearing from you.

Your Relationship Coach,
Kathleen

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Author, Kathleen Reece, Relationship Coach
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As we begin this new year, I thought Communication would be a good place to spend some time looking at how often our conversations may end up not being what we thought they would be. This will all start make sense, read on;

First off let me say that I love people! But not that I just love people, I find that we are all so amazingly fascinating!!
Every one of us is unique in every way; no two people are the alike.
I’m married to an identical twin. Yes it’s been fun and yes I have many stories, but what is so interesting is that even though they are identical as twins can be, yet they are very different in every way! Uniquely!!

I love to watch people. I’m so curious about their stories, what makes them who they are. That is part of what got me into the field of coaching and specifically communication and relationship coaching. Because people are sooo fascinating!!

I’d like to talk about what makes communication so interesting and maybe you can apply some of what you are reading here to the important relationships in your life.

First let me offer you a few questions to consider;

• Do you want to be a better communicator or to have more meaningful conversations? Or get a chance to see how well you do or do not communicate?

• How about wanting to be a better listener and in turn may be listened to as well.

• Would it be valuable for you to know how good of a listener you really are?

• Is what you are communicating actually being heard the way you are communicating it. Or are you surprised when the other person gets upset or is really unclear on what you just said? And you thought you were so clear!

All these questions have some very simple solutions and as we go along in this series we will be looking at each of these and getting a chance to gain some clarity and tools along the way.

I’ll leave you with this to think about until next time. It should really get you thinking about how this may be so in your life.

Have you ever considered what happens when we meet each other for the first time? How that when we do meet someone for the first time we bringing along with us our history and our cultural history as well, into every conversation we have, into every thought that crosses our mind.

Now that should intrigue you for a moment. I’d like you to sit in that question for a little while and think how that might actually be so, and that you may never ever have thought about how that might color how you see things. It’s a fascinating thing to think about, don’t you think?

Over the next few weeks we will be talking about how your history influences your conversations and how it may at times get in the way of how well you are communicating or listening to someone.

Wouldn’t it be helpful to see how that may actually be effecting how you see things and others see you?

If what I have offered you today has sparked some curiosity, then I would love to hear what you have to say about it. Please feel free to drop me a line and let me know if this was helpful.
Your Relationship Coach
Kathleen

Author, Kathleen Reece, (CPBA, CPVA) known as the “Relationship Coach” by couples around the world. As a professionally certified behavior analyst, she gives couples the communication tools and proven strategies they need to create close and intimate relationships.

The © Copyright to all audio, video, images, and text is held by Relationship Coach for You™ and licensed under a Creative Commons License.

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So you want a Currier and Ives Christmas but what you might end up with is “As the World Turns.” I saw that in a book years ago and thought it was a hoot when I read it, and then I also thought how true, how true! As time has gone on and I’m much older and wiser these days, I notice how the expectation of the holidays and the actual reality tend to differ quite a bit.

We fondly look back on the times of our childhood when life was not so complicated and there was a sense of wonder and excitement, and think when did that all change. I don’t know if you are like me, but the past and the present don’t always match up. I could write a book on my childhood experiences, but I don’t want to do that here. What I do want to do, is touch on several things, that I think might come up for people during the holidays.

I know when I was a young mom I was always racing around trying to get things done and put a great deal of self made expectations on myself to have “everything perfect.” (Or so I thought that was what I was supposed to do.)
Like I said I’ve grown older and wiser you see…

What I would like to offer here is what I think Christmas isn’t. How we could tend to make it be the cure-all for the world so to speak. The problem is that it isn’t. It doesn’t bring us instant happiness and often time’s disappointment is what we get
.
Please don’t get me wrong I LOVE Christmas and all that it stands for. It’s one of my favorite times of the year. I think that what springs eternal is that we are hopeful that when Christmas comes and the cards that arrive in the mail that say Peace on Earth, we long for that to be so. Especially in this day and age when world is in such turmoil.

So we start the day after Thanksgiving (I’ve always made it my rule that I don’t go out there into those crowds, even though many of you may love doing that.) getting into the “Christmas Spirit”! There’s the buying and the wrapping, the cooking and the cleaning. Everything that goes on about Christmas is all about getting ready for that day.

Some of the things that Christmas doesn’t do is it doesn’t magically turn you into the world’s greatest parent, fulfilling your children’s every wish. Nor does it make you the Martha Stewart of the holidays, because you watch her program or read her books.

Largely and more importantly it doesn’t instantly restore and repair broken relationships or those that are on the brink of serious problems. But I also think as human beings we are just naturally hopeful for something different. We were designed that way, thank God!

We are hoping that when the family all gets together, it will be great! We look forward to it. It’ll be different this year, I’m gonna make sure of it. So we go about it with great intention, of making that happen. But alas, others aren’t always as cooperative. So there go our expectations and hopes of something different, deeper, and more meaningful.

I myself am a great believer that we have everything within us to create a different experience than the one we have had up until now. If we are to believe in what the “Christmas Miracle” is all about, the miracle of hope for the future, the future worth having with those we love and cherish. Then it would benefit us to equip ourselves with the tools for what that will take. Say better communications, for one thing, or better listening skills. It’s all a matter of taking the time, and changing our thinking about who needs to do the changing, or just appreciating the people for the gift that they are in our lives.

Share with me some of your thoughts on how you see the possibility of changing the way you could see the value of having a different way of relating with those around you this season, and how that might change and enrich how you experience your holiday’s!

Your Relationship Coach,
Kathleen Reece

Author, Kathleen Reece, (CPBA, CPVA) is known as the “Relationship Coach” by couples around the world. Founder of Relationship Coach for You™ where she helps couples in groups, teleclasses and private sessions. As a professionally certified behavior analyst, she gives couples the communication tools and proven strategies they need to create close and intimate relationships.

The © Copyright to all audio, video, images, and text is held by Relationship Coach for You™ and licensed under a Creative Commons License.

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