I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately.  How often we tell ourselves things like:  “I don’t have time to do this or that.  I have too many commitments.  I’m overwhelmed with work, kids, house etc.  Everyone is pulling at me from all angles.”  Least of all, this is what you might be saying to yourself.  And what are the results for some of these stresses and over committing of one’s self?

What do you think?

Are you last on your list and resenting that fact that you are?   Are others paying the price for you not taking the time for yourself?  But you say … “How can I do that when I have all these other commitments going on in my life; how else will it get done? “

Well, I say there probably are a ton of things to look at in this and if you are open to taking a look, I bet you could find some altitude enough to make some positive shifts and possibly benefit others around you as well.  Think about it.  If you are in a good place in your life don’t you think it flows over into the way you are seen by others; say, members of your family and so on?

Let’s take a look at the “what” that may be behind some of this behavior by first telling you a little bit what’s been going on for me and maybe you can relate.

About 3 ½ years ago I started taking care of my first grandchild for 2 days a week.  Now you wouldn’t think that would be any big deal, right?  Here I am, just loving being a grandma with all that entails. And I was very willing to take care of the little guy, of course!  But soon I find out that, boy, it becomes a lot of work and soon I begin to lose my focus for my coaching practice.

Why?  Because it takes tons of time to be with new babies and then they get more active and so on and so on.  (I guess maybe I forgot that small detail as I got caught up in the whole Grandma thing!)  I was trying to stay focused on getting certain things accomplished every week and yet they weren’t being done.  This was probably because I had this crazy idea that I could still work on the days that he was here and still be as productive as I was before I started taking care of him.  That was an interesting idea/theory!  Can anyone relate to this at all?

Little did I know, that would not be the case and (being the consummate multi-tasker that I am); I was also trying to launch another business as well.  So, something had to give and that something had to be me.  I kept telling myself to just surrender to the process.  Easier said than done.  Surrender was a daily process for me and still is for a lot of things in life.

Like trying to swim against the tide, we fight against what is happening and even try to change it so we can “do all things”.  We then not only frustrate ourselves but possibly even take it out on others around us because of the desire we have to see it look a certain way and when it doesn’t then….. well, you know what I mean…

And what does this have to do with “yes you can?”

Take a look at what we decide about a situation and how we don’t see any possibilities in it and where we might go because of that.  Then begin to rewrite your story to reflect another possibility and solution.  You’d be surprised at the outcome and how your attitude will shift and change.  Suddenly, this gives you more freedom to create, not just something new and different, but something transformative.  That, in itself is a whole other conversation!!

But, for now, these are just some things to think about.

I’m curious does any of this rings true for you?  Can you identify with some of what I am talking about?

If so please leave me a comment and share with me your perspectives on this subject.

I’ll be adding more about this later.  But for now, stay tuned.

Much Aloha,

Coach Kathleen

The © Copyright to all audio, video, images, and text is held by Relationship Coach for You™ and licensed under a Creative Commons License.

Tweet This Post

“It is within our minds that brilliance is formed and born.”  Kathleen Reece.

Wow, what a concept!  When I thought of this it literally blew me away!  But this is the potential of every one of us.  Each of us has the potential to envision and manifest our goals into reality.

How does that happen?  I really don’t know for sure, but I do know that if we are not open to new and different ways of thinking we tremendously limit our possibilities.  I’d like to offer some suggestions for Goal Setting and how this plays into whether we achieve success or are simply driven by circumstances that come our way.  If we allow circumstances to be the determining factor as to whether or not we succeed, then we can’t blame anyone but ourselves when things don’t work out for us.  The power of our own thoughts has a great deal to do with whether we move forward or stay where we are.

 Here are some suggestions for your own goal list.  Try them on for size and let me know what you think.  I hope that creating this list will help, encourage, excite and get you moving in a positive direction for the New Year;

• Figure out exactly what you want. Be specific.  The more specific you are the clearer you’ll become about what it is that you are going to accomplish.

• Come up with ONE BIG GOAL. That means reach for the stars! Why not, what have you got to lose?

• Each day write it down several times ( do it as many as 10 times), each time imagining how great it will FEEL to get that big account, to land that new job, to buy that new house etc.

• Go back and read the BIG GOAL OUT LOUD (this ‘locks’ it in place).

• Spend several minutes with your eyes closed imagining your BIGGEST GOAL in all its detail and glory!

• Write down one BIG action step you’ll take that day to make this happen.

• Notice the synchronistic events, or coincidences you experience during the day that seem like a sign from God, as it relates to your BIG GOAL.

• Each day, spend a couple of minutes writing down how very fortunate you are, what you are grateful for, and what you would like to attract more of into your life.

• While you are at it write a letter to whatever you call your Higher Power. (I call mine Almighty God) and go into greater detail about what you want, asking for it to be done by a certain date.

Have faith in the process. Don’t cancel out all your manifesting with negative comments or thoughts such as “Why am I doing this anyway, or it won’t happen, it never does.” If you start thinking that way, stop yourself right away and go back to focusing on the BIG GOAL, and how it will feel to achieve it. Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1. Faith in the process is 80%.  Putting that faith into action is the other 20%.  Trust your faith and then act on it.

Even if you do only ONE of these things, consistently, you’ll start noticing opportunities coming out of the woodwork, and coincidences pointing you in the right direction. Take action on these, they are divinely sent!

Aloha for now,

Coach Kathleen

The © Copyright to all audio, video, images, and text is held by Relationship Coach for You™ and licensed under a Creative Commons License.

Tweet This Post

Engagement is a time filled with all the excitement and planning for the wedding and if a couple is wanting to lay a strong foundation for their marriage, it is also important to see this as a time of preparation for that as well.  My goal is to help you do just that.   

Through my coaching and workbook  you will begin to get a better view of what it will take to have a successful marriage and begin to gain the knowledge and tools to equip you on your journey together in one accord. 

Sessions that we cover over the 7 weeks will be: 

Session One:  Introduction

This opens with an interview where we will discuss what we will be covering.   This can be be directed in any way that will serve you.  Weekly or biweekly meeting are available but I suggest meeting every other week to give you some time to go through your assignments and come prepared to ask questions. 

I assign you a personal questionnaire that includes both your personal history and your history with your partner.  If you are interested you can also complete a DISC or a PIAV (these are optional).  DISC is a behavioral profile and PIAV stands for, Personal Interests Attitudes and Values.  Both of these are helpful and it’s kind of fun to see the results.   

Additionally, it might help you later on in life to refer back to:

“in the middle of missed miscommunication”

as a valuable tool to understand your mate better.

Session Two:  Debrief and Discuss Family History

We’ll go over the questionnaire and discuss experiences and family history and also look into how family affects the way we view life.

Session Three:  Expectations

We will be evaluating your relationship and look at how expectations play a role in our relationships. 

Session Four:  Authentic Communication

We will learn about the decision making process, building oneness through authentic communication and learning communication skills and practices that enhance your relationship; such as how to resolve conflict and simple communication tips that stand the test of time. 

Session Five:  Roles and Responsibilities

We will learn about roles and responsibilities as we move beyond cultural stereotypes such as the traditional versus modern view and your view on how that plays into a marriage.  This will also cover your religious beliefs and expectations concerning children and how they’re to be raised.  This will include discussing the choice to have children or not. 

Session Six:   Money and Finance

We’ll cover how you both view money and the issues that arise around this subject in marriage.  One of the number one problem issues in marriages is usually over money and finance.

Session Seven:  Sex and Intimacy

We’ll cover sex and intimacy:   another big issue in marriage.  We’ll be discussing how to understand your spouses needs and expectations that surround these issues.

Most couples today will spend thousands of dollars on an elaborate wedding and forget that the most important thing in preparing for that wonderful day is you.  You are the most important thing.  Long after the wedding day and all that it took to get there, what remains will be you and your partner and your life together.  Investing in your future and the legacy that you will leave will be one of the most lasting wedding gifts that you can give each other.

One of the most important aspects in premarital coaching is the commitment to finish the seven weeks course.  I can’t emphasize enough how important this is.    It can be a really fun time.  A time of discovery, challenge, risk, openness, trust and intimacy all the things upon which a marriage is built. 

So there you have it!

My “Sneak Preview” of what’s in store for you if you are interested in checking out this program  so you could be  really grounded and have a well rounded view of what marriage is really all about.

So tell me what you think so far? Does this sound like something you’d like to invest in with your fiancé? I mean think about it! This is the biggest step you’ll ever take!!

Let me know your thoughts on this post below, I’d love to have your feedback.  And if you want more information you can contact me @ 808.282.9260

I do a complimentary coaching session so you can test drive my style and see if I’d be a good fit for you

Author, Kathleen Reece, (CPBA, CPVA) is known as the “Relationship Coach” by couples around the world. Founder of Relationship Coach for You™ where she helps couples in groups, teleclasses and private sessions. As a professionally certified behavior analyst, she gives couples the communication tools and proven strategies they need to create close and intimate relationships.

The © Copyright to all audio, video, images, and text is held by Relationship Coach for You™ and licensed under a Creative Commons License.

Tweet This Post

I think we don’t know what our expectations are. And oftentimes we only become aware of them when they are not met.

I guess in certain parts of the country, there is an expectation that there will be snow on Christmas morning. That doesn’t happen for me though, because I live in Hawaii. It’s nice enough if there’s a chill in the air for us here. But oftentimes people have expectations that there should be snow Christmas morning! Isn’t that what happens in the movies!? We’re hopeful it will happen. Just like somehow, some way Christmas will be different this year.

So how can it be different this year? Well how about being willing to live out the intention we set out with as the season first approached? Now that’s a novel idea!

Also, what do you think it would take to live out our lives all year long purposed to, live life fully human fully alive? (Curious to what I mean here?! Well I’ll explain as we go along here.) So let’s make that part of our journey for next year.

My purpose and intention this next year is to create value in what I write here, so that when you leave this page you’ll want to come back for more!

• That you can walk away with some actual tools that you can implement into your life right here and now.

• That your relationships will be rewarding, much more fulfilling and full of opportunities for intimacy.

• You in turn can create that with others.

How’s that sound?!

I’m looking forward to this coming year being one of anticipation and excitement, of change and growth. Will you come along on this journey with me?

Have a blessed and peaceful next few days, as we end out this year, and don’t forget to realize the gift that YOU are to those around you as well. Because without you in this world, the very special and unique you that you are, life would not be the same. There would be something missing. A BIG something! Like George in the movie classic “It’s a Wonderful Life”. Just a thought to ponder…

If you have any thoughts or feelings that you would like to share with me, I’d love to hear from you. And if for some reason this is a particularly hard time of year, let’s talk. Sometimes we just need someone to listen or relate to what is going on for us.

Author, Kathleen Reece, (CPBA, CPVA) is known as the “Relationship Coach” by couples around the world. Founder of Relationship Coach for You™ where she helps couples in groups, teleclasses and private sessions. As a professionally certified behavior analyst, she gives couples the communication tools and proven strategies they need to create close and intimate relationships.

The © Copyright to all audio, video, images, and text is held by Relationship Coach for You™ and licensed under a Creative Commons License.

Tweet This Post

So you want a Currier and Ives Christmas but what you might end up with is “As the World Turns.” I saw that in a book years ago and thought it was a hoot when I read it, and then I also thought how true, how true! As time has gone on and I’m much older and wiser these days, I notice how the expectation of the holidays and the actual reality tend to differ quite a bit.

We fondly look back on the times of our childhood when life was not so complicated and there was a sense of wonder and excitement, and think when did that all change. I don’t know if you are like me, but the past and the present don’t always match up. I could write a book on my childhood experiences, but I don’t want to do that here. What I do want to do, is touch on several things, that I think might come up for people during the holidays.

I know when I was a young mom I was always racing around trying to get things done and put a great deal of self made expectations on myself to have “everything perfect.” (Or so I thought that was what I was supposed to do.)
Like I said I’ve grown older and wiser you see…

What I would like to offer here is what I think Christmas isn’t. How we could tend to make it be the cure-all for the world so to speak. The problem is that it isn’t. It doesn’t bring us instant happiness and often time’s disappointment is what we get
.
Please don’t get me wrong I LOVE Christmas and all that it stands for. It’s one of my favorite times of the year. I think that what springs eternal is that we are hopeful that when Christmas comes and the cards that arrive in the mail that say Peace on Earth, we long for that to be so. Especially in this day and age when world is in such turmoil.

So we start the day after Thanksgiving (I’ve always made it my rule that I don’t go out there into those crowds, even though many of you may love doing that.) getting into the “Christmas Spirit”! There’s the buying and the wrapping, the cooking and the cleaning. Everything that goes on about Christmas is all about getting ready for that day.

Some of the things that Christmas doesn’t do is it doesn’t magically turn you into the world’s greatest parent, fulfilling your children’s every wish. Nor does it make you the Martha Stewart of the holidays, because you watch her program or read her books.

Largely and more importantly it doesn’t instantly restore and repair broken relationships or those that are on the brink of serious problems. But I also think as human beings we are just naturally hopeful for something different. We were designed that way, thank God!

We are hoping that when the family all gets together, it will be great! We look forward to it. It’ll be different this year, I’m gonna make sure of it. So we go about it with great intention, of making that happen. But alas, others aren’t always as cooperative. So there go our expectations and hopes of something different, deeper, and more meaningful.

I myself am a great believer that we have everything within us to create a different experience than the one we have had up until now. If we are to believe in what the “Christmas Miracle” is all about, the miracle of hope for the future, the future worth having with those we love and cherish. Then it would benefit us to equip ourselves with the tools for what that will take. Say better communications, for one thing, or better listening skills. It’s all a matter of taking the time, and changing our thinking about who needs to do the changing, or just appreciating the people for the gift that they are in our lives.

Share with me some of your thoughts on how you see the possibility of changing the way you could see the value of having a different way of relating with those around you this season, and how that might change and enrich how you experience your holiday’s!

Your Relationship Coach,
Kathleen Reece

Author, Kathleen Reece, (CPBA, CPVA) is known as the “Relationship Coach” by couples around the world. Founder of Relationship Coach for You™ where she helps couples in groups, teleclasses and private sessions. As a professionally certified behavior analyst, she gives couples the communication tools and proven strategies they need to create close and intimate relationships.

The © Copyright to all audio, video, images, and text is held by Relationship Coach for You™ and licensed under a Creative Commons License.

Tweet This Post